Why Harem Intrigue When You Can Just Raise a Dog Instead (c14)

Chapter 14: Calamity (1)

Although puppies are naturally energetic and cheery, but if they aren’t taken care of properly they may become depressed, especially since they are sensitive to human emotions. When their owners are happy, they are happy and excited; when their owners are upset, they also become glum; when their owners become sick, they even try to take care of them. They are a extremely keen and sensitive animals. Since she is raising one, then she must take responsibility she should carry.

Meng Sangyu was afraid A’Bao really had depression, taking him by her side every day, playing with him and changing up his meals with fresh dishes. As a result, A’Bao’s thin and frail body puffed up like a balloon.

Emperor Zhou’wu was in painful bliss.  On one hand, he was drunken off the Virtuous Consort’s pampering, on the other hand, he was anxious to find back his body.  But since the last scare the Virtuous Consort went through, she began restricting his freedom again.  Wherever he went there was always a long tail behind him, fearing that he would disappear again.

Four, five days passed by like this.  This day, the Virtuous Consort changed into a relatively dull set of clothing early in the morning and brought A’Bao with her into the small kitchen of Bi’xiao Palace. She picked out a bunch of expensive ingredients and prepared to make soup.

“Is Your Ladyship making soup for A’Bao again?” Bi Shui and Yin Cui asked as they helped prepare the ingredients.

Hearing this, A’Bao circled around the Virtuous Consort’s feet, his tail wagging excitedly.  In the past, he hadn’t even look at the soup the Virtuous Consort sent over before telling Chang Xi to pour it out.  Thinking back, there’s only one way to describe the him back then – taking things for granted!  Although the Virtuous Consort’s cooking may not be as good as the chef of the imperial kitchen, but that flavor of home cooking makes one appreciate it more.

“No, this soup is for His Majesty.” Meng Sangyu shook her hand, requesting to Nurse Feng, “Nurse go and ask around for what His Majesty is doing. Once this soup is done we’ll take it to His Majesty.”

“Your Ladyship why…” Nurse Feng furrowed her brows, glancing at the other maids in the kitchen, she swallowed the rest of her words. Seeing her master trying to please the emperor now makes her feel horrid, as if she just swallowed a fly.

A’Bao’s wagging tail froze in place. He whimpered as he clawed at the hem of the Virtuous Consort’s dress. Sadly, the Virtuous Consort did not understand his objection even a bit.  She even bumped his little plump butt with the heels of her feet.

“Go nurse! Since I have to beg His Majesty for brother’s marriage, I need to at least express some appreciation.” Meng Sangyu waved her hand, amused.  Nurse Feng is really over-correcting now, so straightforward and transparent it’s cute!

“Yes, understood.” Nurse Feng straightened her face, heeding with a slight bow, then left to send someone to check out the movements of Qian’qing palace.

When she got back, the soup was already done and stored in a container. The delicious heavy aroma that spread out from the cracks under the lid made one drool.  The Virtuous Consort was sitting at the table, pruning a small pine bonsai.  A’Bao was sitting on the table, his gaze alternating between the container and the Virtuous Consort.  He lifted his plump little paws as if he wanted to open the lid but was afraid to be found out by the Virtuous Consort.

Nurse Feng bowed her head to hide her smile, liking this smart little critter more and more. Her Ladyship smiles much more with his company than any other time.

“You’re back? Where is His Majesty?” The Virtuous Consort put down her small scissors.  Her sudden inquiry scared A’Bao, whose front paws were already on the lid. A’Bao immediately withdrew his paws and sat up straight, giving up on the idea of flipping the container over. He missed the flash of amusement in the corner of the Virtuous Consort’s eyes.

“Your Ladyship, you should go another day.  This morning, Minister Li led a group of officials to bring up choosing an empress and heir apparent again. His Majesty stormed out of court in anger and ordered the death of some tens of officials after.  It definitely wouldn’t be good for Your Ladyship to go right now!” Nurse Feng reported in a low voice.

“Oh? Never mind then.” Meng Sangyu disinterestedly waved her hand, mumbling, “If this continues, His Majesty won’t be able to manage much longer. The Shen family wants to fight the Li family for the empress seat, Shen Huiru not having a child is their biggest problem. On top of that there’s the rumor of His Majesty’s impotency, the Shen family undoubtedly would lose on this point. Unless His Majesty can immediately get Shen Huiru pregnant and use factual proof to defeat the rumors.”

“Your Ladyship why are you still thinking about these things? Regardless it doesn’t have to do with us.” Nurse Feng said, pursing her lips.

“Can’t help it, it’s a habit. Then let’s just wait a few days, wait until His Majesty’s mood becomes better to go.” Meng Sangyu gave a mocking laugh. She opened the container and poured out a bowl of soup, placing it in front of A’Bao. She pat his fluffy head and gently cooed, “Eat quickly! I know you’ve been staring at it for a while now.”

Emperor Zhou’wu used his paws to grab and rub against the Virtuous Consort’s finger.  He then happily buried his head down to drink the soup, satisfied. As he lowered his head the warmth in his eyes disappeared, replaced by an ice cold gaze. The more intense the battle between Grand Preceptor Shen and Minister Li the better.  Then he will have more time to find back his body.  Shen Huiru is clearly unreliable, then let’s go to Qian’qing Palace to look for Chang Xi.  Hopefully Chang Xi won’t disappoint him.

After he finished his soup, Emperor Zhou’wu spread out on the Virtuous Consort’s lap with his belly facing up, squinting his eyes in pleasure as the Virtuous Consort rubbed his belly.  Comfortable murmurings uncontrollably came out of his mouth.

Yin Cui and Bi Shui’s shoulder’s trembled at his embarrassing reaction and appearance, struggling to swallow down the laughter coming up their chest. A’Bao’s is so prideful, if he heard laughter he would definitely go into hiding.

Meng Sangyu’s eyes were already squinting from laughter.  She stared at the lazy little thing under her hand, love filling her heart.

With his little belly comfortable from the rubbing and the soup just about all digested, Emperor Zhou’wu crawled up and jumped onto the sewing basket next to the couch. He grabbed the embroidered ball in the basket out and brought it over to the Virtuous Consort. As a man, he naturally doesn’t like such womanly things, but he couldn’t  forget the disappointment in the Virtuous Consort’s eyes the last time he refused. Since she likes it, it’s not a big deal to play with her for a bit. Hasn’t he already long since decided that he was going to pamper her?

“A’Bao you want to play ball?” Meng Sangyu dazed for a bit, then hesitantly asked.

“Woof woof!” A’Bao’s bark still has the sweet sound of a little puppy, adorable and lovable.

“A’Bao’s so smart! Even smarter than the legendary Lassie*! Meng Sangyu exclaimed, lifting up A’Bao and rubbing her forehead gently against his.  Her phoenix eyes filled with laughter and sparkled brightly like a sky full of stars.

Emperor Zhou’wu crossed gazes with her, his eyes overflowing with a deep drunken attraction.  He couldn’t help but stick out his tongue to lick at her eyes, using his most sincere and careful demeanor.

Meng Sangyu kissed him back with a light laugh, then put down A’Bao who still wanted more. She picked up the embroidered ball and ran into the sunlight outside the hall. Emperor Zhou’wu quickly followed step by step, her laughter full of joy filling his ears – and his heart flew with it.

After playing for an hour, Meng Sangyu was a bit tired.  She carried A’Bao in her arms back to the bedchamber.  She tucked A’Bao in, then seeing that A’Bao was sleeping comfortably, she laid on the bed and slowly closed her eyes.

Fifteen minutes later, A’Bao quietly sneaked his eyes open and peaked at the Virtuous Consort.  Seeing that she was in deep sleep and no one was watching in the chamber, he immediately flipped over and got up.  He then ran to the side door familiarly. The guard at the door was changing shifts at this time, it was the best time to sneak away.

Two months.  Because of the Virtuous Consort’s devoted care-taking, he has already grown quite a bit.  His body has already grew from palm-size to the current half-foot long size.  His energy has increased and senses have already gotten more sensitive.  Speeding across the imperial garden, he quickly reached Qian’qing Palace.

Hiding in a corner far from the palace doors, Emperor Zhou’wu patiently waited for the moment the guards relaxed. Just at this moment, Chang Xi brought two little eunuchs out from inside Qian’qing Palace, walking towards to imperial garden.

Emperor Zhou’wu’s eyes lit up and he immediately followed behind them.  Without being able to speak, how could he attract Chang Xi’s attention and then find an opportunity to communicate with him?  Emperor Zhou’wu quietly began devising a plan.  Unknowingly, he had already followed them to a pavilion in the imperial garden with the most beautiful scenery.

In the pavilion, Shen Huiru was sitting at the head seat. She was currently using a small burner to warm a bottle of wine.  Bunches of tea flowers were in full bloom in a parterre not far away.  The beauty of the atmosphere and scene of the wine’s wafting aroma and the tea flowers could not be illustrated by neither words nor ink.  A few concubines sat around her, conversing and giggling. She sat silently, giving a light smile with slightly closed eyes, as if her heart was calm as water and her person was tranquil as chrysanthemum, giving off an indescribable elegance.

The more colorful those beside her, the more elegant she appeared.  The more noisy those around her, the more calm she appeared.  This was usually the taste that Emperor Zhou’wu loved the most.  But now, seeing this Shen Huiru, he just felt indifferent.  Because he knows, this detached attitude was just an act. If her knowledge and talents don’t lose to men, how would her calculations and manipulations lose to women? Before he was just blindly lying to himself after all!

As Emperor Zhou’wu’s thoughts wandered, Chang Xi already quickly approached and paid respects to Shen Huiru, obediently reporting, “This servant pays his respect to the Gracious Consort.  His Majesty asks for Your Ladyship’s accompaniment in the imperial study.  If Your Ladyship would please head over.”

Seeing the head eunuch lowering his attitude to such, a light flashed through the eyes of several concubines.  Shen Huiru lazily opened her eyes and lifted her hand as if she hadn’t noticed, “Then let’s go.”

Chang Xi bowed his back and led the way.  The concubines with ranks below Shen Huiru quickly stood to bow and pay their respects, saying in unison, “We respectfully send off Your Ladyship.”*

“Oh my! Isn’t this the Virtuous Consort’s dog? How is he here?” A concubine exclaimed, surprised when she lifted her head, as she saw the little puppy not far away.

“Be careful Your Ladyship, this servant will take care of this little rascal for you.” Because the Gracious Consort had been scratched by this dog before, and he saw the flash of coldness that passed through the Gracious Consort’s eyes, Chang Xi immediately tried to curry favor.  He quickly walked up and caught A’Bao himself, then grasped him by the neck, about to through him far away.

You death-deserving servant!  How dare you? Emperor Zhou’wu just dazed for a moment before he was caught by Chang Xi.  The pain on his neck was hard to take, and anger burned in his heart.  He turned his head around and bit onto Chang Xi’s wrist.

Chang Xi cried out in pain, and cruelly threw him on the ground, then kicked him.  He used all of his force in that kick, which directly sent A’Bao’s little body flying several meters far, and into the lotus pond beside the pavilion.

Before he could feel pain, the ice cold water fought to drown into his nose and mouth.  A devastating hopelessness and fear filled to the tip of his heart.  Emperor Zhou’wu began furiously struggling, bopping up and down in the water as he called out in pain.

“This little thing looks pretty pitiful, why don’t we save him?”  The youngest concubine couldn’t resist opening her mouth to plead. Everyone turned their head towards the Gracious Consort.  In the water, A’Bao also turned a hopeful gaze toward her.

“Pets should act like proper pets.  For one to forget how he should properly behave, isn’t that asking for death?  The way he’s struggling seems pretty amusing.  If he dies he can even please us.  His death would be worth it.” The Gracious Consort flicked her shiny gold fake nails, her voice bringing about a cold chill.

Knowing there was more meaning to her words, all the concubines lowered their heads, their hearts trembling.

Chang Xi gave a bright smile, bowed down and heeded, “Your Ladyship is right. His Majesty is already waiting.  Please, Your Ladyship.”

The Gracious Consort glanced at A’Bao painfully struggling in the water.  The amount of time he was floating to the surface was getting smaller and smaller.  She curled up her lips, pleased, then contentedly walked away.  When she had walked far away, the few concubines still did not dare to save A’Bao who was already about to drown to the bottom. They walked away with pale faces.

After all the people had left, the Emperor Zhou’wu who had been struggling in the water quieted down.  He paddled with his four legs and slowly swam toward the shore.  Dogs naturally know how to swim. After the initial panic, he quickly found the trick to staying afloat in the water.  But the cold death seeking eyes full of hate he saw on the Gracious Consort made him instantly decide to put on an act.  And the events proved that if he didn’t put on an act, the Gracious Consort would definitely not let him off today.  She probably would have told the servants to knock him back into the water until he died if he had crawled onto the shore.

To a little puppy, where does all her hate even come from? The only explanation would be that she redirected all her hate for Meng Sangyu onto him. And Chang Xi, the Chang Xi who should be loyal to only himself was so obedient to her, listening to her every word, had probably been bought out by her since long ago.

Hmph, Shen Huiru, you’ve done well! Hopefully you will be able to bear the flames of our anger when the time comes!  Haggardly climbing on to shore, a dark coldness filled Emperor Zhou’wu’s eyes.

Translator Notes

*(legendary) Lassie – I’m assuming this is a reference to Lassie Come-Home by Eric Knight because “Legendary/Spiritly/Godly dog Lassie” is a (nick)name for Lassie from Lassie Come-Home in Chinese.  On a side note, apparently the novel came out in 1940 and the movie in 1943, meaning it’s got a good 70 some years on it. O.O

* “We respectfully send off Your Ladyship.” – the original is “恭送娘娘” [Gong Song Niang Niang], which is litterally translated to “respecfully send Your Ladyship.”  It’s formal etiquette for when someone of higher rank leaves to say you “respectfully send” them. The direct translation was the best I could think of, but it doesn’t seem to sound so great. :/

Clam Spam
Clam: -translating-
*wifi outlet review video pops up on youtube*
Google (@ like 70dB): “Sorry. I don’t know how to help with that yet, but I’m trying to learn.”
Clam: {{{(O__O)}}} “ok, google. whatever floats your boat, google. please don’t do that again, google.”

And this weird thing right here:
“Emperor Zhou’wu used his paws to grab and rub against the Virtuous Consort’s finger.”
How a puppy does this… is for the author to know and the rest of us to be confused until the end of time. I seriously have no idea, that’s what it says and there really isn’t any hidden or secondary meaning I can read from it. If anyone has any insight, feel free to share – I am quite intrigued.

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30 thoughts on “Why Harem Intrigue When You Can Just Raise a Dog Instead (c14)

  1. Thanks for te chapter.
    I’m still enjoying his suffer, he was so stupid he need to learn

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Haha yeah it gives you this weird good feeling when he gets wrecked by the author. In Chinese, this good feeling as if pressure or annoyance have been relieved from you is called “爽” [Shuang], but there isn’t really a good English word for it.

      Liked by 4 people

      1. There is a word for it. Called schadenfreude. I’m not sure if it’s originally English but it means taking delight in someone’s misery and misfortune, thriving on it. It probably describes how we just love seeing the Emperor get slapped in the face because he was so stupid in the past and finally getting his just desserts…even though as decent human beings we probably shouldn’t XD

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Ooooh new word to the arsenal! My thoughts on shuang isn’t quite taking delight in someone’s misery, it’s more of just feeling good in general? For example, pouring a bucket of water on yourself on a really hot summer day would be something I describe as shuang.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Wow, there’s actually a term for it? “Why harem intrigue…” really gives out a good dose of shuang enough to compensate the deficiencies from other CNs! Suffer a bit more Your Majesty~

        Liked by 2 people

  2. Luna Goddess of moon June 28, 2018 — 4:05 am

    Any interesting in pick up another novel. Killer mc transmiggration Yonger 17 year old window empress dowager


    1. Oof I’m so sorry, I really would love to, but I’m really caught up on a lot of things right now. Can’t make any promises, but I’ll give it a read and see if I can pick it up later.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Thanks for the chapter!


    1. Thanks for reading it~! :3

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Maybe people will realize animals live too. Maybe they will care…. 😧🤕🙄🤕

    Animals, and even pets live such difficult lives, luck of the draw.

    Thanks for the update!

    Will he have to die to renter his Emperor body? Or will A’Bao live after emperor’s soak leaves?


    1. Yeah… There were several parts where I used “rascal” when characters were referring to the pup. Now looking back, the language is much much stronger. A better translation probably would be closer to “imbecile/bastard,” which is really sad and unfortunate for pets and animals of the time. Thanks for reading~!


  5. Thanks for the chapter!


  6. It’s not rub finger, the dog playfully bite virtous consort finger.my dog often do that too it bite but just for play it doesn’t really hurt at all


    1. That’s what I thought would make sense, but the author really quite elaborated on it, which confused me. “周武帝用爪子抱住德妃的手指蹭了蹭” is the original where the author writes that Emperor Zhou’wu used his paws to hug and rub the Virtuous Consort’s finger. So what I currently think is: 1) I got it completely wrong what/where/how he’s rubbing (wow that sounds a bit strange o.o;); 2) I have no imagination; 3) the author’s messing with us to see how carefully we read.


  7. I’m pretty sure the author meant that he grabbed her finger between his front paws and rubbed his head against her hand. Except, that’s not really something an animal would do. More like a human child. So it’s strange that the Virtuous Consort didn’t think that action weird for a puppy.


    1. Hmmm I can kind of picture that. I feel like the action is strange in general though. I suppose that since she sincerely thinks that her puppy has depression at this point that it’s possible he would do that?


      1. Cats will grab someone or something they believe they own, and rub their head and neck on it to mark it. It’s not really a dog thing, as their legs don’t quite bend the same way.

        Perhaps it’s best if we just view A’Bao in light of a cartoon, where limbs and joints are rather more elastic (and often more plentiful) than in reality.


      2. That just made me picture A’Bao with rubber legs, which is quite scary. Q_Q


      3. Hahahaha, the Stretch Armstrong of dogs! Nonono, I was thinking more like McGruff the Crime Dog, where the paws are essentially replaced by hands for the purpose of the scene – or think Mickey Mouse, but a dog.


  8. ataner ventisette June 30, 2018 — 6:42 pm

    Thanks for the chapter!


    1. Thanks for reading it! xD


  9. Dragonfly0201 July 1, 2018 — 2:18 am

    Thank you for translating this novel. Very interesting story. Really hope the emperor will continue to treat Meng Sangyu really well from here onwards.


    1. Thank you for reading my translations~!


  10. Thanks for the chapter!

    Damn, she’s so cold. Won’t even let off a puppy!


  11. Kaget aku kirain a boi mati,wuwuwu jahat sekali mereka


  12. thank you for the chapter!!

    i have a toy poodle and she’s realllly clingy. as what the author described, i would think what they meant is the dog grabbing the consort’s hand and rubbed its face to the finger. my dog does that a lot (people say only cats do that. but when my dog really wants extra attention, she would treat my hand, arms, fingers like a bolster, hugging it with her arms and start rubbing her face before making herself comfortable

    wouldn’t believe it either if i dont see my poodle do that! when i had golden retrievers and dalmatians, they dont do that. i guess coz poodle is a clingier breed


    1. Thank you for reading~! Your poodle sounds adorable!


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